Plagued by doubts

Do you ever have one of those days where you wonder if you've made the right choices in life?  If  you really should be doing what you are doing?  I am having one of those days.  I love kids, I love music.  I love doing both and combining them.  I'm good at both.  I'm human, I have my days where its more trying. Working with 30+ kids is not always the easiest job, but I try hard to always do my best and I really enjoy my work.  Its the other part I'm not good at.  Politics, irate parents, sticky situations.  I'm good with kids.  I'm not always good with adults.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a very social person and I like to be around people.  Its just sometimes I'm not always...eloquent in talking to people, sometimes I'm awkward.  I try not to be, but often it just ends up making it worse.  Sometimes I think I expressed or explained something well, and it turns out I didn't.  I'm working at becoming better at this, but sometimes its more difficult. 

Days like today make me wonder as much as I love music and teaching, if I can handle this aspect of the job for the rest of my career.  Right now, I don't think I can. Days like today crush my ego and my confidence.  It makes me wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am, that I had a thicker skin.  Days like today make me regret being talked out of working with animals in order to go into a career of music and teaching.  Don't get me wrong, I loved my time at university as a music student.  Its what came after that hasn't been as fun.  You see...animals don't judge you.  They aren't as complicated as people.  I can be myself around animals, and will always be understood.  You know, that 100% unconditional love. There are less "sticky and awkward" situations.

I think a lot about a career change sometimes.  But here in Canada, its so hard to switch careers without going back to school again, something I don't want to do. Here in Canada, you study and become SO SPECIALIZED in your field that it makes you unqualified for everything else.  You need a degree or diploma specific to what you want to do, in order to work in that field.  Right now, the only thing I could change career wise without going back to school would be to work a minimum wage job or work as a waitress. 

As much as I love what I do, I don't know if I can handle the politics of my field for the rest of my career.  I'm plagued by doubts, and I feel as if I'm stuck at a dead end.  There's also the thought that if I switch careers, I feel like I wasted my university education.  The guilty feeling of all that money spent and than not using it professionally....

At least, its a short work week and there are only two more days left until the weekend.  And on the positive side, Stephan comes home from work tomorrow.  At least I know with him, that I have that unconditional love despite my flaws, and support in whatever decision I make.